I just read a post that Gala Darling posted the other day, titled Help! I Judge EVERYONE!, about which a reader emailed her with:
Gala, bless her heart, turned to her friends on Facebook to help answer this question. And there was a great response. [Check it out!] Unfortunately, I missed it, but feel this is an important topic to cover (better late than never) because, as humans, we are naturally inclined to be judgmental in one form or another, and should work to overcome negativity.
Let’s get a little personal here, shall we?
A lot of people judge others by appearance. In most cases, they’re jumping to conclusions based on what little information they have gathered about the person in question. Too often these conclusions are built from internal issues that have little to do with the person being judged. They are actually based on feelings of inadequacy.
While I have overcome the act of jumping to conclusions, I do perform a sort of character profiling based on what I see/hear/smell. This is beyond mere clothing or (non)fitness. I’m looking for signs of confidence, egotism, ulterior motives, etc. that may or may not lead to future problems. I look for tics, posture, etc. Anything that will tell me what I need to know about someone, before I pass judgement. (None of these thoughts are based on my own self worth.)
There, I said that awful word- judgement. (Who am I to judge?)
But, I think, it’s how we handle this judgement that makes all the difference….
See, when I think of the average prissy bitch (sorry!) judging someone who may possibly be taller, thinner, prettier, and perhaps a much nicer person, I’m bothered by the fact that this prissy bitch is wasting her time dwelling on this negativity. All the time she spends gossiping, etc. could be spent doing something productive.
When I find myself judging someone, it is merely a decision of whether or not that person is worth my time. Even if I am not particularly fond of someone, I still conduct myself civilly and do not let my emotions control my actions. People are going to do what they want, regardless of what I think or say. I can’t control them. However, I can choose how to react to them, and I prefer to take the moral, dignified route. There are better things to be done than waste time hating others.
In dealing with this sort of negativity, I think it’s always important to ask yourself:
- Is this a reflection of my own insecurities?
- Am I jealous?
- Why else could I feel this way?
- Am I letting these thoughts negatively impact my life?
- Could I be wrong?
These questions can be a little scary sometimes. Because truth hurts. But be brave, and consider.
How do you handle judgement?